Well, to show just how much I care, I want to show you guys just how much time I waste on the computer by showing you all versions of ME!

This is cartoon Jared.

This (was) pokemon9penguin

This is Mii Jared.

This is Ray Ray 5.

That’s Twitter Jared. He always cracks me up!

That’s Facebook Jared! He looks just like me!

Why am I doing this now? Well, I made on a new GIF of what living in the world of Jared is like. It’s pretty funny. Check it out under the Welcome to my site banner.

In other news, the voting was closed yesterday. It was a tie between Angry Video Game Nerd and Never Gonna Give You Up. Well, we need a tiebreaker. Voting closes November 9th.

Today we start a new month! The month of FOOD! YAY! I LOVE ME SOME GRUBS! For those who don’t understand hillbilly, that’s I love eating. The reason I say this is because it’s the month of Thanksgiving! So be thankful, and maybe Santa will give you a Wii next month. I eat fish sticks and fries on Thanksgiving. I’m weird.

Welcome, mortal to the stairway to Satin’s lair! MWA HA HA! (Wait, what the…? Hey! What’re YOU doing here?)

Sorry about that. Satin was trying to take over. I guess I left the door opened. Well then… It’s Halloween! Here’s the story. (Thanks to ask.yahoo.com for the story.)

The holiday’s origins date back to “the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain.” Roughly 2,000 years ago, a people known as the Celts lived in the area now divided among three modern-day countries: the United Kingdom, Northern France, and Ireland. The Celts began their new year on November 1, meaning October 31 was their New Year’s Eve. According the History Channel, “the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred” that night.

Bonfires and animal sacrifices were common, as were costumes “typically consisting of animal heads and skins.” Eventually, the Romans conquered the Celts, and Samhain was combined with other holidays. Later, as Christianity became more powerful, Pope Boniface IV put a new tilt on the event. He designated November 1 “All Saints’ Day” — a day when followers could honor saints and martyrs. This celebration was also called “All-Hallows,” and the night before (October 31) was known as “All-Hallows’ Eve.” Later, it became known as Halloween.

These days, Halloween is mostly known as a day when kids throw dental hygiene out the window and go hog-wild with candy.

Yeah. So that’s how it pretty much went down, right?

So. Anyways. I’m going as Mario for Halloween.

 

Here’s what you need to be Mario:

Red hat

Paper

Super Glue

Fake mustache or black makeup

Red marker

Blue overalls

Red shirt

White gloves

Brown boots

You can find most of these items at a thrift store.

Instructions:

Put on the outfit so you look like Mario. Get some paper. Draw the letter M on the paper. Cut the paper into a circle. Get an adult to super glue the paper onto your hat. Now, put your mustache above your upper lip. If you use makeup, shape the makeup into a mustache. There you go!

Or… just buy a Mario costume at Wal-Mart if you want to be like every other kid out there.

So, guys. You remember my post about the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie, right? There not even using a kid. There using some popular TV actor kid. But I just want to explain why I love the series of books.

In the first book, Greg Heffley is trying to get through middle school, while his friend Rowley becomes more popular than Greg which ruins their friendship. Greg will have to take some drastic measures to save his reputation.

In the second book, Greg is trying to keep an embarrassing secret from getting out to his school. Which means he’ll have to do whatever it takes to keep his annoying brother Rodrick from telling everyone.

In the third book, Greg tries to convince his dad from sending him to a summer conditioning program where kids are bigger, tougher, and already shaving.

In the fourth book, Greg spends his summer vacation crappily. He gets on Rowley’s parents bad side, almost gets his dad arrested, and gets a dog that his dad bought after hearing that HIS dad ran over his dog when he was a kid.

In the do-it-yourself book, you get to tell about yourself, and keep your own Wimpy journal. You can write anything you want, but just don’t share your “feelings” in here.

Welcome to the first ever Jared contest! Here’s how this works. I tell you guys what I can do, you vote, and whichever thing has the most votes, I’ll do on camera.

1. Imitate the Angry Video Game Nerd

2. Learn every word and dance of Never Gonna Give You Up

3. Check e-mails like Strong Bad

Vote Below! Voting closes November 1st.

Hey guys! I asked the Pokemon company, and they e-mailed me showing me what they’re working on.

It’s a Wii game called Pokemon Garnet Version that introduces a whole lot more Pokemon.  About 120 new Pokemon are going to be in it. They said it should be available in 2011.

Let’s make this post AWESOME!

Have you ever wanted to kick back and relax on a tropical island and maybe play some sports? Now you can! With Wii Sports Resort, you can play awesome sports in VIRTUAL REALITY! With the new Wii Motion Plus Accessory, your movements in the game will be so precise to what you do in real life!

Check this out:

When is the new Captain Underpants going to come out? It’s been 3 years!

Be a penguin.

Windows 7 is coming soon.

Christopher Columbus found the United States by accident.

Wii Fit Plus is cool.

I’m getting a DSi for Christmas.

Uh…

Listen to the Charlie Brown theme song.

Family Guy is the best show ever.

Super Mario Galaxy 2 will OWN!

We filled every category!

As a reward, I get a million bucks!

Yes, it’s time. The new play is… Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective. Nah, I’m jut kidding. This isn’t SBCG4AP episode 4. It’s Club Penguin. The new play isn’t new at all. It’s just a remake of Shadow Guy and Gamma Gal. Come ON, Disney! You’re losing your creativity! Screw the Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana! They both suck! Make Club Penguin better! The plot of the play is there’s a monster terrorizing the city, so Shadow Guy and Gamma Gal, two super heroes show up to save the day. Honestly, they need a new story. How about we see Chocolate and Vanilla! Or maybe Super Star! Ah, forget it. I know my comic books will never be Club Penguin plays. The catalog doesn’t even matter. It’s the same boring old costumes, with the same boring old script. The new postcards are for a birthday, trying out Halloween costumes, and saying Happy Halloween, and trick or treat. I don’t get what’s th point. As Charlie Brown would say, the holidays are getting too commercial. Seriously, go to Target when school starts up, and they have Christmas stuff for sale! What is wrong with these people?!?

Hooray! I’m back! My internet is finally on! So basically, let me just tell you guys a few brief updates of what I’ve done since I was gone.

• I updated my Wii to 4.2. I hope it doesn’t break after this.
• I published a new page under A Gamer’s Paradise. Go check it out.
• I’ve gotten detention at school. (3 times)
• I got digital cable.
• I got 2 new phones from Cox for setting up the Digital Cable by myself. (Yes I did it. My mom doesn’t even know how to use the instructions. )
• The internet got turned back on and it’s faster.
• I’m getting closer to having all 120 shines in Super Mario Sunshine.
• My Gamecube controller broke, and I can’t get a new one.
• I’m planning to get a dog walking job.
• I updated the header on the site.

So, do you guys think my life is better than before? Vote now!

Posting will begin by Monday if not Tuesday. But, in the meantime, the new mascot of the month is…

Darkrai! It’s Halloween, and in Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky, Darkrai *SPOILER ALERT* Controlled Primal Dialga.